How to Connect with an Introvert

communication strategies personal development richard martinez - business coach May 04, 2021
 

 

 
  

  SUMMARY


True influence is nothing more than understanding how to work with and through others to achieve a stated objective while staying true to your core values and maintaining your integrity.

 FULL TRANSCRIPT


 The sheep, the sheep calm, cool, and collected, the sheep have no expression on their face, so the sheep are labeled as boring because they don’t have a lot of expressions but it doesn’t mean that they’re boring, it’s just that they don’t have a lot of expressions, they have more of a poker face right, so when they’re happy, they’re happy. I’m so happy right now to be here, really, I’m excited and then it’s like I’m so bothered right now being here like it’s been a long day. I’m so frustrated, it’s the same right, it’s not hard to read them.

The sheep have more of a stoic personality, they’re more calm, cool, and collected, they are very loyal. They are the ones that like “are you thirsty?”, “are you ok?” they love to serve, “can I get you anything?”  they want to make sure everyone’s good and comfortable because they value connection with people. That’s like what they value, you see that the rhino values achieving goals being direct not wasting time getting things done, yes, winning.

The lovebird, their priority it’s fun, friends, and freedom. That’s what they value, the sheep, they value connection with people because they value that so much they will avoid conflict. They will avoid problems because that threatens my connection with you and I want to avoid anything that breaks our connection so if there’s something that I’m bothering me, I’m probably not going to tell you, I’m just gonna hold it because I want to keep our connection.

The owl. What does the owl say? Who! Who! What, when where, why, they ask all the question I want to understand what is going on, how it’s gonna go, who’s going, what time are you getting there, what do I need to do because I want to prepare myself before I get there because I’m a perfectionist and I do not want to make a mistake in front of people because that’s what I fear. So when you ask me a question, and it takes a little longer, this is why, so you know.

I have developed this laboratory inside of me and this is, if I’m gonna make a mistake that’s where it’s gonna be so if you ask me a question I’m gonna takes this question and I’ma go inside this laboratory and I’m gonna look at it this way, this way, that way, I’m gonna figure it out, pull it apart, make sure it’s good and then I’m gonna have a good answer for you because I don’t want to make mistakes and now is the perfectionist. They’re the ones that you know like the structure, the order; they’re more analytical, more rational. They like to know, they want to know, yes, you guys got it? Okay.

So it’s good to have like a good like basic understanding of these different types, why because it helps you to make them feel understood. So I already have my clear intention, we’re talking about how to read and influence people, so in order to read and influence people, I need to understand them, make them feel understood. Now I created that space where they feel understood this is where influence is beginning to be created, you guys following?

If you see a Rhino you need to know what’s important to them so you talk to them that way because that’s how you create influence so if you know your personality, you need to be able to adapt to their personality so you become a smart communicator, become an expert with connecting to people creating a space for them to be themselves and you know what they value so you’re using the key that resonates with him, for that core I know you’re using like meeting your goals, you’re achieving, you’re performing, you’re in its high performance, you’re using those kinds of words because it’s like “Oh yeah, I like that”, making money, making those goals like moving forward and advancing building your team, success. You’re using all these words, that’s like “yeah, I like that”, but you start to say be aggressive and sell to a sheep like “aggression, aggressive, it sounds like conflict, it sounds like problems, mmm no, thank you”.

You have to be able to use different words for them, what’s important to the sheep? “Customer service”, cool, good, they like to care for people they want to protect their connection so you use different words. If you want them to sell, hey the more people that you serve, that you help their families, with this product, you’re helping more people, “Oh, I love helping people” Yeah! And just think about how many people you can help in a day if you call these many people and you’re able to share the benefits of this product, of this service to them. So you have to communicate it through that, do that lens, through that value for them. That activates them because that’s important to them.

 

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